I’m Hunry LIke the Wolf for Jesus.

Billie Jean is not my lover (because Jesus is)

Claiming the Promises Promises

Under Pressure (to share my testimony)

Is She Really Going Out With Him (instead of coming to Church)

Amazing Grace (to the tune of Janie’s Got a Gun)

Okra is really space alien pods.

That guy on the infomercials with the questionmark jacket, runs the real government.

Tinfoil hats really do foil government spy satellites.

The key to longevity — bacon fat.

Jello is the root of all evil.

Weinerdogs really can speak, they choose not too.

The Indians that live under you bed are legally entitled to open a casino.

You may recall that after recovering from cancer and its aftermath I’d taken up exercising.  I eventually moved to running a few times a week.  I even entered a few races.  Granted I was beaten by an older barefoot man once, but I beat him the second time.

A few months ago my knee started hurting after I ran.  It got progressively worse.  I went from limping a little after a run to limping full time.  Eventually even I could not refuse to go to the doctor.

When I signed in at the doctor’s office, the nurse asked if I was there for my spine or my neck.  This should have been a clue.  She seemed surprised that I said it was my right knee.  The doctor was clearly a spine/neck specialist but he seemed to at least recognize my x-rays as being those of a knee.

The visit started as I expected.  I was sure I would leave with a prescription and be told to rest for a while.  The longer the exam lasted the further from this we got.  There was some discussion of my fairbanks changes.  Then the doctor asked if I knew I was a candidate for early arthritis.  Then he mentioned that I would need a knee replacement earlier than normal.  Then he asked if I wanted a shot in my knee.  While I pretended to think this over (I politely declined saying “Are you freaking kidding me!”) he told me I had patellar tendonitis and signed me up for physical therapy.  (There’s a sentence that would do Faulkner proud.)  On the way out he mentioned he’d write a prescription for a knee brace.

We won’t get into how difficult mangaged care makes it to find out how to get a knee brace. 

It turns out that he wasn’t talking about an ace bandage type thingy.  We are talking about fittings and hundred of dollars.  Ouch!

“If reality tv has taught us anything, it’s that you can’t hold down a person with no sense of shame.”  30 Rock

“My pastor says GOD BLESS AMERICA” I saw this on a bumper sticker yesterday.  Obama and Jeremiah Wright must be reeling.

There’s been a lot of controversy about this particular quote.  I have yet to find a person that I can have a conversation about it.  Everyone wants to go with their particular (mostly political) opinion and not listen.  But that’s what blogs are for.

Most conservatives want to go with the Puritan vision of America intentionally being a new city set upon a hill.  That’s fine.  But then they start thinking of us as the new Isreal, God’s chosen people.  This is clearly nonsense.  God choses individuals not nations at least now.  Anyway we have no claim to God’s covenantal blessings as a nation.

It is nice to think of God blessing America and He certainly has.  When was the last time you had to worry about a hyena eating one of the kids?  The economy isn’t booming but still unemployment is less than 80% and inflation is under 1000% unlike Zimbabwe.  Things here are good.

Here’s the thing.  You can’t take half the Bible.  You can’t take part of God.  If you are going to claim the blessings you’ve got to risk the cursings.

Read the Bible, especially the prophets.  There’s a whole lot of damning going on.  God has his prophets using plumb lines as props and marrying whores to illustrate the immorality of his people.  He talks about their having holes in their pockets and being overrun by locusts. 

If you are a faithful preacher going through these passages you have reason to say God may damn America, and everywhere else. Certainly if you want to look at our history of race relations (slavery, Jim Crow laws, segregation).  How about our national stance on abortion? How do you think the God who cares for the poor, the widowed and the oppressed really feels about us?   Hey at least we care about justice and mercy sometimes.  More than most.

But like I was saying this doesn’t really apply to nations as much as individuals.  I can say this with conviction, God has already damned all of us.  Fortunately He is also rescuing some of us. That is the Gospel and you can take that to the bank.

Approximately 3 years ago I died in the hospital.  That is, I had a pulmonary embolism and the doctors had to stop and restart my heart or I would have died for good.  It’s funny that I can’t remember the exact date for something so important.

I don’t think that this particular event had a huge life changing impact.  Other aspects of living in cancerworld did.  I now have a will (I just wish I had material goods to pass on).  I have planned out my own funeral and written last letters to my children.  That has a lasting impact. 

 Try explaining your life to your kids.  Then think of what you wish they knew about life.  I think that is a much more important exercise than a “bucket list”.  A recent movie I watched talked about writing your own obituary.  That I think can really define who you are and who you want to be.

I am glad I made it through.  I am still trying to make a difference with my life.  The fast pace and cost of living in America makes that difficult, especially if you want to do more than give money.

To end with enjoy life, your family and friends.

You all remember the Spanish Inquistion.  It’s what we blast the Catholic Church, Christianity in general and the Middle Ages for.  It is symbolic of everything the post modern mind hates.  And yet it had good intentions.  The point was to help the recipient avoid the pains of hell.  The idea was that one could compel another to do good.  While we find the inquistion abhorent, we still try to compel people to do good.

 Currently, the NBA requires potential basketball players to attend one year of college (or at least be one year removed from high school) before entering their league.  They are floating the idea of raising the minimum to two years.  Why? because it would be better for the players.  They would compel players to do what the league decides is in the players best interest.

The same idea comes up in other fields.  The hot new idea in dealing with health care is universal insurance.  Not the old style Hilary care single payer insurance.  In this model everyone would buy their own insurance using tax credits or receive it through their employer.  Even if you don’t want it or think you are too young to need it, you will be required to have it.

Personally I think one of the greatest freedoms liberal culture has developed is the freedom to screw up.  Believe me I’ve made ample use of this freedom.  As long as no one else is seriously harmed, and I want to see concrete proof, people should be pretty much free to do as they like.

For some reason we were discussing standing up for what is right the other day.  The question arose as to whether we ever face opposition.  In other words do we ever take a stand when it costs us.  I don’t know that we ever get the opportunity any more. I try to do what is right and good.  I do my part in the “war on cancer”.  However the pro cancer lobby is nonexistent.  All it costs me is time and money.  We run in races that raise money and awareness.  We give here and there.  Not really bloody or difficult. When I take the pro life side of an argument, all it costs me is an awkward moment or two.  The same for being anti porn.  That’s just not a high price. I think that the biggest mistake Bush has made in Iraq is not asking more of the average American.  Since the war is not a budget item, it looks as if the war doesn’t cost us anything.  Where are the war bond drives, the special taxes, the rationing.  Where is the sense of common sacrifice for the greater good?Someone was discussing Jack Bauer of the show “24″ on NPR.  His argument was that Jack Bauer was popular because we could participate vicariously through him.  Since we aren’t called on to do anything in the war on terror, Jack Bauer’s doing something makes us feel better, even if it’s make believe.

Fat is what you eat when no one is looking.

I haven’t been blogging much lately. My excuse is that I’ve started back running. I figure when I die I want to be buried in shorts so people can say “What great calfs he had!” Not that I’m passing any time soon.

Speaking of passing, what ever happened to the social security debate. The boomers are still going to drive us under aren’t they?

For years the world has had one model of leadership. A leader is vocal and emotional. If you aren’t then you aren’t a leader. Eli Manning has been criticized for his lack of leadership. By this they mean he’s not all that vocal. He’s too laid back to lead. The New York and national sports media said so. His own teamates Tiki Barber and Jeremy Shockey said so. They all agreed the New York Football Giants were mired in mediocrity because of Eli Manning and the coach, Tom Coughlin.

How did they win the Super Bowl then, and Manning the MVP? Tom Coughlin changed his approach to coaching. He quit yelling so much. Tiki Barber retired and Jeremy Shockey got injured. Now the two biggest vocal leaders were gone, people could hear themselves think. Eli Manning, nicknamed Easy by his family, could get things done without dealing with two loudmouths.

Leadership isn’t about talking. Leadership is about going somewhere.